That Which You Know Now, You Always Knew You Didn't Know

There I was minding my own business, brushing my teeth at an ungodly hour, because you know I am still on vacation and my husband doesn't work until the early afternoon most days, so we seem to watch movies until the wee hours of the night like a couple of college kids. So there I was, brushing my teeth thinking about how the Matrix trilogy seemed to get worse with each movie (we've watched all three this week). Thinking about how much I used to love Keanu Reeves and how many times did I watch Point Break? Probably so many times that if saw it right now I could recite a large part of it, ah time well spent, coveted brain space well occupied... Trying to figure out if there was a point to the Matrix or if the writers themselves gave up by the third movie. S. and I kept turning to each other after every long winded speech and in our best yoga instructor voice we'd recite, Do you know the question, if the answer is one you haven't already asked? Or will it be if it was? If you were here did you remember that you weren't there? That which you know now, you always knew you didn't know And other such nonsense which we seemed to crack ourselves up over. Anyway, there I was thinking deep thoughts like should I floss? When S. called me over to the computer and read me a post my brother had just left on Facebook.

Basically he was cycling, blah, blah, blah, passed out, threw up, cycled home!!! Um, who does that after they have passed out and thrown up??? blah, blah, blah, hospital, HEART INFECTION. These are not words you want to read about your brother at 1:30 AM when you live on the other side of the Atlantic from him. Or even if you don't and even if it wasn't 1:30 AM. So I sort of panicked, I'm a lickle bit of a worrier. I called him and his wife was laughing because she told him he should send me an email and he was all, she won't be up at this hour! Aha! I was and I was fucking worried. Our father had a stroke a couple of years ago and I'm a renowned passer outer and had a heart murmur which thankfully seems to have corrected itself so heart attack is not out of the realm of possibility in our family. But he's fine, I guess. They ran a bunch of tests on him and his heart is strong, he's got a resting beat of an athlete and as he's been cycling competitively for over a year his blood pressure, etc are all very good. They prescribed him Ibuprofen. FOR A HEART INFECTION. I don't know if it just sounds more serious than it actually is or if my brother is underplaying it but he's back at home and taking it easy. This is pretty much the biggest thing I hate about living abroad. That and being mistaken for a Canadian. I kid, I kid, some of my fondest childhood memories were spent canoeing in Canada, well because of my brother.

We went to canoe camp in Ontario for several years for six weeks in the summer from the age of eleven to sixteen. A couple of weeks ago my brother posted this video on Facebook (because yes we only communicate to each other through Facebook, obviously). Its absolutely shockingly beautiful and as he reminded me reminiscent of lots of skies we'd see those summers canoeing out in the middle of a lake in the outback of Ontario. Funnily enough, this exchange was another one which made me realise how much I hope I have children to add onto the memory chain of S.'s and my family's history. Because all my brother had to do was write a couple of words in reference to the video and I knew exactly what he meant. And isn't that what family is about? And scaring them in the middle of the night through the internet.