Murphy's Law

I don't know if I have ever mentioned that I am a Virgo. If you know any Virgos and you believe in such things, you'll know that we are a little, how can I put this, well... controlling. We like planning things and keeping to schedules. We like making charts and graphs and compiling lists, its a few of our many ways of being both organised and tricking ourselves into believing we are also in control of just about anything, our finances, our time management, our fertility.

Since I left my job last March, I've been blessed with the gift of time. Being unemployed is certainly wonderful in a lot of ways because I've been allowed time to heal after yet another disappointing pregnancy. I've been able to travel. I've been allowed time to change jobs and find one I really am excited about starting in September. I've been allowed time to write, to cook, to watch practically every game of the World Cup, to keep our house in order, to pamper my husband, pamper myself, to organise all the bureaucratic red tape in our life which comes with being an Italo-American expat couple.

And for the most part things are starting to work out. Paper work I thought would take forever to arrive finally has. I've gotten the job I wanted. I've finally been given a first draft of my contract and a start date. Visa issues seem surmountable and are actually not nearly as expensive or difficult as I originally imagined. I have finally seen the miscarriage specialist and have gotten the ball rolling...well rolling and somehow also bouncing away. I really can't be upset with the NHS because the level of care I have received from them over the past five years I have lived in London has been great. And how amazing that I am getting treated by a miscarriage specialist ostensibly for free (although our taxes obviously pay into the system). However I am at the stage now in my treatment when I am waiting for an appointment for an HSG (an internal x-ray of my ovaries and uterus) and if there are no appointments this month (you have to schedule the appointment only when you first have your period) I have to wait another MONTH to try to schedule another one and hope and pray that the same thing doesn't happen again. This seems a little bonkers to me. Apparently there is only one day a week they do the appointments and they need to make absolutely sure that you are not pregnant because the test can cause damage to an embryo which is why everything is scheduled around your period.

So, here I am waiting again. For the nurse to call me back. You are supposed to call the day you have your period and leave a message and the nurse calls you back and let's you know if they have an appointment available for you this month. I already tried this last week when I was spotting and not actually having my period and I was told there were no appointments. Now that I am actually having my period I am hoping that this week will be better. Waiting for the anticipated phone call took me back to my dating days. Did he get the message? Did I leave my number too quick? Did I leave a message at all? Is he ignoring me? Should I call back or wait? I'll wait one more hour. I'll wait until someone scores a goal.. I finally called the number again and spoke to a doctor who said that the nurse was going to call me back but she didn't think that there was an appointment for me this month. She was hurrying me off the phone so I didn't get to ask call me back when?

I have to keep reminding myself that it will happen. I will get an appointment. If not here then I am also fortunate enough to have my father in law in Italy who is a ob/gyn and can get me an appointment for an HSG at his hospital in Italy. Its just not neat is all. Its not all perfectly planned. I have two more months still of long days of sweet fuck all until I start head first back into a busy job and of course I know that's when I'll have all the appointments lined up back to back. And that my friends is what I believe is called Murphy's Law which is mortal enemy to the Virgo.