The Balancing Act

As I mentioned in a previous post, I had my first experience with acupuncture last weekend. I have been feeling really disconnected from my body and emotionally uneven these past few weeks/ months so in addition to altering my diet (cutting back on coffee, alcohol, sugar adding more seeds, fish, vegetables) I thought that I should invest in a massage and a session of reflexology and acupuncture. All treatments are referenced to be helpful for infertility and miscarriage not to mention good stress relievers so I was looking forward to it.

In London there is a chain of Chinese Herbalist stores that do these treatments pretty inexpensively. Last time I went to one in South Kensington getting a massage there was somehow the antithesis of relaxing as I could still hear the noise of the high street, the banter of Mandarin being spoken outside and inside my treatment cubicle and the jarring background noise of Chinese xylophone music piped in throughout the store all while getting my massage. Despite the chaotic atmosphere, the massage itself was quite good and as I hold a lot of tension in my feet I was happy that I could feel and see the difference in my toes after the reflexology session.

So, I knew what I was getting into when I booked my appointment last week. I knew that its a bit Hong Kong meets London high street, you get what you pay for. I wasn't, however, prepared for the hard sell after my sessions by the "doctor" who wasn't the person who treated me and his saucy side kick who translated his sleepy pot (he reeked of marijuana) induced prescriptions for me after briefly asking me to open my mouth so that he could glance and my tongue and taking my pulse for under a minute. They also asked me a bunch of generic questions about my periods and my sleeping habits and digestion. I stupidly shared the fact that I had had two miscarriages and understood that acupuncture was helpful to get a person back to being balanced. With that they jumped all over me.

I was of course expecting to be prescribed herbs. I go every year to the Hale Clinic for colonics and an occasional massage, I know the hard sell, most times it works and I pick up a new tea or supplements for 10 pounds. I am there to cure an ailment even if it's just bad digestion or stress of course I want to help myself. But when they came up with a 700 pound treatment plan of herbs and acupuncture I was already ready to walk away. To make matters worse the translator continued the hard sell by asking me if I didn't want a baby? This might be my only chance...with that I put on my coat and asked to settle my bill. In hindsight I probably should have told her exactly what I thought of her unscrupulous selling tactics but I was so relaxed from my treatments I didn't want to work myself up and ruin my peaceful constitution (before my massage I might have shown her my New York side which mostly comes out these days when speaking to the telephone company or telling people to move into the middle of the car in the underground).

I definitely will go again to get acupuncture. I immediately felt the benefit as soon as the third needle went into my left shoulder. I felt a tremendous release of stress flow from out of my body and I started to cry. It wasn't an emotional cry it was just tears of relief I think of letting go of something which I was holding onto. The problem now is finding a new place to go to get the treatment for under 30 pounds.

The same day as I got acupuncture I went to the bookstore and bought this book which I had mentioned before and has just been published. It's interesting because it's a fertility specialist who combines Chinese and western medicine to help couples get pregnant. It's not easy to pin point my specific type (even though the high "doctor" at the Herbal Store seemed to think that I am yin, I also have a tendency towards yang) so really I think it's about overall balance as we all have been forced into understanding about every aspect of our life.

On Thursday I also went to my first consultation with the miscarriage specialist. A few things struck me after the consultation: firstly the expense; secondly he thought that most likely we would find our problem to be a couple of spontaneous bad chromosomes combinations (bad luck basically); thirdly he said after I questioned him about progesterone treatment that it's rubbish to which I told him I found that surprising as there were so many people being treated by it to which he said that I put too much faith in doctors. His statement made me think about what he said from the onset (that he thought that basically our case was just bad luck) and then think about my first point -- how expensive it all was going to be.

So the miscarriage specialist investigation goes something like this: test for thrombosis (thickening of the blood which I think is treated by taking baby aspirin and heparin); test for chromosomal abnormalities in the couple (no treatment basically identifying if you are at a higher risk for having more miscarriages or child with a disabilities); test for autoimmune disorder which means your body attacks the embryo (there is a very small chance of having this and I believe that there is something you can take throughout the pregnancy to stop from having a miscarriage) and lastly a scan of your womb to make sure that there aren't any problems.

So, even though I got two of the blood tests done I wonder if it's all really necessary at this stage and for the first time in a while am feeling hopeful and am thinking that maybe we are jumping the gun. I have heard anecdotal evidence time and time again of many women who have two miscarriages and then go on to have healthy pregnancies maybe in our case it is just the luck of the draw? We are going to speak to Stefano's father as well who is a obgyn doctor and see what he thinks also because if we should do more testing we can most likely do it less expensively in Italy overseen by my father in law.

In the meantime, we have all sorts of plans to make, our lives to live and I need to get back to myself , I am almost there. A baby will come for us, I don't doubt it now and I am thankful for the time to get myself healthy and strong.